(A September Story About Faith, Failure, and Finding My Way Again)
It was the second week of September the kind of week that feels like it should’ve been a turning point. I remember waking up that morning with my heart light as air, believing that this was it the season my dreams would finally unfold. My MBA at IBU Toronto was supposed to be my big leap, my once-in-a-lifetime chance to build a new life abroad.
But life, with its uncanny sense of timing, had other plans.
That email came in quietly, with no dramatic thunder or rainstorm just a few lines that shattered months of hope. I wasn’t approved for my second PAL. And with that, my student visa dream slipped right through my fingers.
I was asked to withdraw and request a refund from the school.
Simple words.
But they carried the weight of everything I had prayed for, worked for, and dreamed about.
For days, I couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud. I just sat there, replaying everything in my head the excitement, the plans, the what-ifs. It felt like standing in front of a locked door I had already decorated in my mind.
It’s strange how silence becomes so loud when dreams collapse.
“Sometimes the universe closes a door not because you’re not meant to enter but because you’re meant to take another road entirely.”
A month has passed now. The sting isn’t as sharp, but the ache still lingers. I still remember what it felt like the heartbreak of being told “no” when all you wanted was a chance to prove yourself.
These days, I find myself back in front of my laptop every morning, scrolling through job postings, scanning POEA-accredited manpower agencies online, and whispering prayers under my breath. I’ve applied to so many Netherlands, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, the USA anywhere that would open its doors. Not just for me, but because I want to help my family. That’s what keeps me going when my chest tightens from uncertainty.
And yes, sometimes desperation kicks in. There are days I question everything my choices, my timing, even my worth. But then I remind myself:
“Rejection is simply redirection. Delay is not denial.”
It’s easy to say never give up but living it? That’s the hard part.
Still, here I am, showing up every day, choosing to believe again, even when belief feels fragile.
If you’re reading this and you’re also in a season of loss whether it’s a dream that didn’t come true, a visa that wasn’t approved, or a plan that fell apart. I hope you know this: you’re not alone.
This may not be the ending we wanted, but maybe it’s the beginning we need.
Because one day, I’ll look back at this September not as the month I lost everything, but as the month I learned what resilience truly means. 🌙
“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” — Japanese Proverb
And I will.
Every. Single. Time.
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